Peter Holbrook: August 2008 Archives
Hello its me again, sorry about the delay since my last entry I've been dealing with a range of IT questions which left me temporarily baffled. With thanks to Nick at School for Social Entrepreneurs I'm back and able to blog again. You lucky, lucky people.
Anyway rather than have me witter on I've decided to share someone elses thoughts with you a young man who is working with us and has been for a couple of years - his experience with us gives much greater insight to life on the happy ship sunlight.
I hope that that it isn't too imodest to want to share his writings with you - his thoughts had an incredible impact on us all
Here it is:
"It's easy to get caught up in the darker side of life, especially when life seems to throw one thing after another your way. When my Dad left us I thought good ridance, we'd be better off without the drink, the arguments, the blame, the fights. i never thought that I'd end up taking his place - bringing stella fuelled fights, debts, drugs and agro into the family. I guess I never realised just how angry I was about the way that things had turned out for my mum and my sisters and me. Drinking with my mates on a friday, saturday and then on thursday and wednesdays too seemed like the only thing to look forward to.
I think after a beer or 5 it was easier to let my anger out and it sort of just became normal to get into fights and agro. After a couple of years it was easy to slip into coke and speed to null the pain. It was easy to borrow money for booze and drugs and that just got me into more trouble, more fights, more stress.
When you start nicking stuff it always seems to be an easy way out of an immediate problem only looking back I can see its just yet another slippery slope.
After too much trouble I left Yarmouth pretty quickly and moved to Medway for a fresh start. Got a girlfriend and got a job. my plan seemed to have worked but old habits die hard.
That old cycle was soon back and after 4 months I found myself having plates fitted in my face after someone stamped on my head in a club. I had to take a fair bit of time off work and the agency said I was unreliable and stopped sending work my way. Whilst I was trying to sort out my housing (benefit) I got kicked out of my flat. the landlord was a wanker.
Someone on the high street I vaguely knew suggested Sunlight. i wasn't sure what it was but I was desperate. the more desperate you become the less people wanna help you. I went down there not knowing what to expect.
Nice people was the first thing I noticed. The more you need help the more people turn their backs. I wanted a flat not a job that i didn't get paid for but i was hungry and agreed to volunteer coz at least i'd get some food and I had nothing to do other than piss off the people whos floors I was sleeping on by hanging around in the day time too.
I've always loved music and was amazed to find out that they had a radio station there. Within 2 weeks not only had they sorted me out with a deposit on a flat and helped me claim my benefits and I was doing some amazing new stuff. My Saturday night radio show kept me out of clubs and pubs and as a result out of trouble. I met a whole new group of people, people that were doing good stuff and people who liked me for what I was able to bring.
After 8 weeks, as things were starting to improve and things were settling down in my life the people at Sunlight started talking to me about what I wanted to do next. i hated having no money and so work was an important next step. They stumped up £500.00 to put me on a fork lift drivers licence course. I think its the first time people ever really listened to me and believed in me to succeed. Everyone always used to think that i'd fuck everything up.
I stayed doing my radio show every saturday night and my licence meant I got a job in an Asda warehouse. I was doing really well. I even paid Sunlight back the deposit on my flat. It was great to have money again. 4 months later and after a particularly heavy Sunday night out I went to work worse for wear and got suspended for being drunk at work. I resigned rather than face the sack. I'd fucked it up again.
I reacted as I always have. Going out and getting even more wrecked. My money had soon gone and because I'd resigned i didn't get any more benefit. Sunlight helped me out again and I got things sorted again. Although I kept fucking up and dissappointing them they never gave up. at times I wished they would. i started volunteering again and they gave me a part time job which kept me a float and meant I could keep my flat. they kept me fed and kept me positive despite everything.
After another boozy night out maybe 3 months later my girlfiend whilst drunk slashed me with a piece of glass which left me with 19 stitches in my cheek.
I turned to my family, my adopted family at sunlight. I'd never been as low. without any hesitation they were there, standing by my side helping me work things out. They helped me with all the stuff that you need to sort out when shit happens. It felt like they really cared and they did.
I'm now training as a chef with them 3 days a week and the other 2 I work at the centre managing reception and working with the young people. twice aweek I go to therapy which Sunlight have arranged and paid for. it's helping me not only deal with whats happened to my face but its also helping me work out other things like I understand why I make it easy for bad things to happen to me and how I can improve the chances of good things happening.
There should be more places like Sunlight - so many more people could benefit if there were more places like this. This is only a small account of whats happened. The full story is much more messy and they have helped me time and time again. but I getting there now. I'm not gonna let me or them down this time. I feel like things are getting better.
What does sunlight mean to me? without them I'd be dead. sunlight has saved my life."
I'll write something myself soon!
Pete
Anyway rather than have me witter on I've decided to share someone elses thoughts with you a young man who is working with us and has been for a couple of years - his experience with us gives much greater insight to life on the happy ship sunlight.
I hope that that it isn't too imodest to want to share his writings with you - his thoughts had an incredible impact on us all
Here it is:
"It's easy to get caught up in the darker side of life, especially when life seems to throw one thing after another your way. When my Dad left us I thought good ridance, we'd be better off without the drink, the arguments, the blame, the fights. i never thought that I'd end up taking his place - bringing stella fuelled fights, debts, drugs and agro into the family. I guess I never realised just how angry I was about the way that things had turned out for my mum and my sisters and me. Drinking with my mates on a friday, saturday and then on thursday and wednesdays too seemed like the only thing to look forward to.
I think after a beer or 5 it was easier to let my anger out and it sort of just became normal to get into fights and agro. After a couple of years it was easy to slip into coke and speed to null the pain. It was easy to borrow money for booze and drugs and that just got me into more trouble, more fights, more stress.
When you start nicking stuff it always seems to be an easy way out of an immediate problem only looking back I can see its just yet another slippery slope.
After too much trouble I left Yarmouth pretty quickly and moved to Medway for a fresh start. Got a girlfriend and got a job. my plan seemed to have worked but old habits die hard.
That old cycle was soon back and after 4 months I found myself having plates fitted in my face after someone stamped on my head in a club. I had to take a fair bit of time off work and the agency said I was unreliable and stopped sending work my way. Whilst I was trying to sort out my housing (benefit) I got kicked out of my flat. the landlord was a wanker.
Someone on the high street I vaguely knew suggested Sunlight. i wasn't sure what it was but I was desperate. the more desperate you become the less people wanna help you. I went down there not knowing what to expect.
Nice people was the first thing I noticed. The more you need help the more people turn their backs. I wanted a flat not a job that i didn't get paid for but i was hungry and agreed to volunteer coz at least i'd get some food and I had nothing to do other than piss off the people whos floors I was sleeping on by hanging around in the day time too.
I've always loved music and was amazed to find out that they had a radio station there. Within 2 weeks not only had they sorted me out with a deposit on a flat and helped me claim my benefits and I was doing some amazing new stuff. My Saturday night radio show kept me out of clubs and pubs and as a result out of trouble. I met a whole new group of people, people that were doing good stuff and people who liked me for what I was able to bring.
After 8 weeks, as things were starting to improve and things were settling down in my life the people at Sunlight started talking to me about what I wanted to do next. i hated having no money and so work was an important next step. They stumped up £500.00 to put me on a fork lift drivers licence course. I think its the first time people ever really listened to me and believed in me to succeed. Everyone always used to think that i'd fuck everything up.
I stayed doing my radio show every saturday night and my licence meant I got a job in an Asda warehouse. I was doing really well. I even paid Sunlight back the deposit on my flat. It was great to have money again. 4 months later and after a particularly heavy Sunday night out I went to work worse for wear and got suspended for being drunk at work. I resigned rather than face the sack. I'd fucked it up again.
I reacted as I always have. Going out and getting even more wrecked. My money had soon gone and because I'd resigned i didn't get any more benefit. Sunlight helped me out again and I got things sorted again. Although I kept fucking up and dissappointing them they never gave up. at times I wished they would. i started volunteering again and they gave me a part time job which kept me a float and meant I could keep my flat. they kept me fed and kept me positive despite everything.
After another boozy night out maybe 3 months later my girlfiend whilst drunk slashed me with a piece of glass which left me with 19 stitches in my cheek.
I turned to my family, my adopted family at sunlight. I'd never been as low. without any hesitation they were there, standing by my side helping me work things out. They helped me with all the stuff that you need to sort out when shit happens. It felt like they really cared and they did.
I'm now training as a chef with them 3 days a week and the other 2 I work at the centre managing reception and working with the young people. twice aweek I go to therapy which Sunlight have arranged and paid for. it's helping me not only deal with whats happened to my face but its also helping me work out other things like I understand why I make it easy for bad things to happen to me and how I can improve the chances of good things happening.
There should be more places like Sunlight - so many more people could benefit if there were more places like this. This is only a small account of whats happened. The full story is much more messy and they have helped me time and time again. but I getting there now. I'm not gonna let me or them down this time. I feel like things are getting better.
What does sunlight mean to me? without them I'd be dead. sunlight has saved my life."
I'll write something myself soon!
Pete
